Well hey fam! In the midst of all the encouragement that I try to give others, yesterday was a bit of a hard day for me. Their are certain days in my life that are traumatic and their are other days that are also traumatic but they sneak up on me. I had a sneak up on yesterday, so on a previous blog i mentioned how Mother’s day is hard for me since I have lost my mommy. Yes I still call her mommy; yesterday was the day she was buried.
So, yesterday started off good, I got to sleep in but as my morning went on I just felt sad and irritable. Then thanks a lot facebook memories I saw a post about loss and I mentioned that we buried you today in the post. Then in my mind I lived all of it over again. I saw her funeral, how I couldn’t stop crying, even my uncle telling me to “be strong”. I still don’t know what that is ijs.
So, I was feeling down and then I was going through issues with my body. I needed help! My husband asked me “Renea talk to me , what’s wrong”. I told him and he just poured into me. He let me know that my mommy loves me, and said that she is so proud of me. Tears starting flowing down my face, and he knows that I would have wanted her to see me get married but he told me she was here with us. My husband melted my heart, and I realized he’s right. My mom was my dawg, but I will always carry her with me. She taught me so much.
It’s funny that the things she told me at 21 , that i didn’t understand; I know now at thirty something. Death does hurt and even though some days it’s hard for me. I believe that my mommy’s memory will never die. I’m gonna go a step further than my mom, and one day my kids will do the same. Continue to go further fam! You and your lineage needs it. Be blessed!
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